


deeper than the ink beneath the skin of my tattoos

by writingcreature



Series: The-Aftermath-Series [7]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Banter, Best Friends, Developing Relationship, Episode Related, Friendship/Love, M/M, Pre-Slash, Protective Steve McGarrett, True friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 02:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13988961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingcreature/pseuds/writingcreature
Summary: The time frame is episode 8.17 after Lou and Oddell left the office. I wouldn't call it an episode fix it because it is more an addition and includes also flashbacks to episode 8.10. Again, I was missing something in this episode. So my muse nudged me until I gave in. The title and parts of this story were inspired by the song "Brother" by Kodaline.





	deeper than the ink beneath the skin of my tattoos

After Lou and Oddell said goodbye to Steve, he also decided to call it a night. On his way out, he discovered a dim light in Danny’s office. Curious, he opened the glass door and stuck his head in.

"Hey, Buddy. I thought you already left about an hour ago. What are you doing here?"

Danny slowly tore his eyes from the framed picture he held in his hands, showing Grace and Charlie smiling happily into the camera, to meet Steve's gaze.

"I know. But when I was standing in front of my car and searched my pockets for my keys, I found out you never returned them to me. It was you and Adam who decided to go on a road trip in my car. Remember?"

"But I…" guilt-ridden Steve patted himself down. The keys were in one of the pockets of his cargos.

He put the keys on the table, "I'm sorry, man. I totally forgot about it. But why didn't you come…"

"I didn't want to interrupt your conversation with Oddell and Lou," Danny stated dryly.

Steve's eyes narrowed, and he looked at his partner apprehensively.

"Danny are you okay?" he asked.

His partner darted out his tongue to moisten his lips and took a deep breath before he said, "Actually, no."

Steve sat down on the edge of Danny's desk. "What's bugging you, Danno?"

Danny put the picture back in its place and avoided his friend's scrutinizing look by keeping his eyes trained on an imaginary spot on the opposite wall.

"After we'd raided the house where the…" Danny cleared his throat as his voice was about to disobey him. "Where the guy poisoned himself with the chlorine gas, I… I kinda panicked. You know. I was reminded of the incident with the sarin gas that almost got me killed and our exposure to the biochemical weapon on the boat. Afterward, I literally drilled Junior and the hazmat guys with questions. Poor Junior must've thought I was going nuts given the look on his face." He huffed out a breath.

Steve put one heavy hand on Danny's shoulder. "Yeah, Lou told me about it. The guy looked like something fresh out of a horror movie. I'm sorry, Danny. I should've been there with you guys."

Danny dismissed him. "You had better things to do. You had to explain this Hara-kiri mission of yours and Adam."

Steve removed his hand. "I didn't have better things to do." His voice got a notch higher at the end of the sentence. "What are you implying?"

"Nothing, sorry it came across awkward." Danny sounded tired. "It's just Rachel is giving me a hard time because she doesn't know about her and the kids' future, I mean, where they will live. She is not sure she'll stay in Hawaii. This gas incident was just the cherry on top of a crappy week."

"How about you come with me, and we have some beer, and a nice chat on the lanai?" Steve suggested.

"Not in the mood to face Junior and explain why I was flipping out on the scene. Still feel like an idiot," Danny replied.

"You won't have to face him. He's with some friends on a hiking trip. And he's signed up for an apartment on Kalakaua. He's moving out in the next two weeks." Steve winked at Danny, "Come on, curmudgeon."

Danny got up and babbled, "Don't curmudgeon me. Be happy that Eddie can't speak and that you will never have to get into a custody fight with whomever."

When they arrived at Steve's house, Danny went straight out on the lanai while Steve fetched some beers from the fridge.

He stared at the stars and listened to the waves crashing on the shore, and remembered that one night that he'd spent on Steve's couch in their early days. In the quiet of the house the sound of the waves had driven him nuts, and so he'd kept the TV running all night long until Steve came downstairs and complained about it.

A smile curled his lips as he got even further back in time. They had had a standoff the first day they had met, and Danny was sure as hell he would never work with this crazy Ninja/SEAL. Eight years later and they were still on the job together. And if his hallucinations came true, they would spend the rest of their lives together.

Danny hadn't mentioned it to Steve. Not one single word. Actually, he hadn't told anyone about it. Probably because he feared he would spoil their future together if he talked about it if he said the words out loud. His heart got heavy. He and Steve were still exploring their relationship, taking baby steps. They didn't want to rush things. And, they had a bumpy ride behind them and probably ahead of them. Steve's radiation poisoning was still looming over them like a dark cloud. Danny cared that Steve made his regular checkups. He knew he was a stickler when it came to such things, but he wanted his friend to live a healthy, long, and fulfilled life. Geez, he was heading headfirst into a depression. He felt a cold hand clutching his heart. Again, he found himself back at today's crime scene because the harder he tried to get rid of the gruesome pictures that were burned into his retinas, the more they were flooding his mind. His scar started to throb. "It is all in your mind," Danny whispered to himself and closed his eyes briefly. No longer did he want to think about chlorine gas, shotgun wounds, and people living on the edge because their loved ones were doomed to die because of a greedy company that didn't give a damn about polluting the air with highly toxic chemicals.

Danny turned around. Steve was already sitting in one of the chairs. He hadn't uttered a word yet.

"Thanks for having me," Danny said when he sat down opposite his partner. "Usually, I would've gone home, kicked off my shoes, fetched a bottle of beer from the fridge and raided it for leftovers. I love you, babe."

From the look on Danny's face and the blue eyes that held his gaze, Steve knew that this time Danny meant what he said. This wasn't one of his usual replies. Steve grabbed the bottle of beer from the table, saying, "Love you, too, buddy."

Danny took another swig. His stomach was growling like a bear.

Steve shook his head laughing, "Guess we should order some takeout." He suggested.

Danny squinted his eyes as if this would improve his hearing, "Excuse me, I thought you suggested that WE order some takeout."

Steve gave him a grin in return, "Sure did. Why?"

Danny shrugged, "Nothing. It´s just that every time you say that it ends up with YOU ordering what YOU want. So why do you even bother?"

"Buddy, your stomach sounds like an angry bear ready to attack, and I´m starving. What is wrong with…"

"Don't ´buddy´ me when it comes to food," Danny interrupted him harshly, "that is a serious matter, especially if I haven't eaten all day. Let's say I suggest Italian or Chinese. I'm sure we'll end up eating something else."

"Danny, I would never do that to you, especially not after what you've been through today."

"Come again, and I might believe you," Danny retorted.

Steve scratched his stubbly chin. "What should it be, in your honor? Italian or Chinese?"

"You won't believe it, but I don't care. I have made enough decisions for one day. How about you lead, and I follow?"

Steve already had his phone in his hands. Before he speed-dialed his favorite Chinese restaurant, he threw a glance in Danny's direction. "You're a crazy person; you know that?"

Danny dismissed him. "Being cray-cray is part of my job description. You should know that. You hired me."

Steve was ordering food. After he had hung up, he said, "I already told you: I didn't hire you; I chose you."

They gave each other big fat grins and clunked bottles.

"What about the governor?" Danny continued their conversation in a serious voice.

"What about her? She is – to put it mildly – pissed. She was already talking about consequences and saying that it was wrong that I went more-or-less rogue and didn't discuss the details with her. And then, she asked if I am sure we can trust Adam. And that …"

"And, can we?" Danny asked.

"Trust Adam? After what he and Kono went through, I have absolutely no doubt about it. Steve ran both hands over his tired face. "Only trouble is, it might've been a mistake to send him out there without any backup. And, from what he has told me, I can't be sure how far he can trust Jessie."

"As far as he could throw her," Danny suggested and winked at Steve.

"Let's put that all aside. How was your day, Danno?" Steve leaned forward, "How'd things go?"

"What can I say? Lou filled you in on the details. Nothing much to add from my side." Danny shrugged.

"He didn't fill me in on you. How were you doing? Or, better, how are you doing? Like I already mentioned, I'm sorry I wasn't there … for you."

Danny drained the bottle in one big gulp, "Steve, you were with the governor. She, sure as hell, didn't show much sympathy when you told her about how Adam Noshimuri is now working as a silent contractor for H50. Therefore, the governor wouldn't have been very fond if you stormed out of her office in the middle of your awesome talk. She would've probably kicked your sorry ass off the Island and made us unemployed. Not that I love my job, but I have bills to pay and two incredible kids that cost me a fortune, and a greedy ex-wife…"

"You're a liar," Steve snapped.

"Come again?" Danny snorted.

"You're a liar. You love your job. You love Hawaii." For Steve, it was an understatement; he knew that Danny had a very dry sense of humor. Steve wouldn't have been his partner for eight years without learning more about the person that was riding shotgun in his own car while he was driving it most of the time.

Danny swallowed and stared at the beer bottle's label like he could find all the wisdom of the universe on it.

"I really think I am getting too old for this shit, Steve. You weren't there. You haven't seen me behaving like a lunatic. The hazmat girl's look talked volumes, let alone Junior's. Geez! The guy in the van looked like the Elephant Man. My head was racing miles ahead while my body turned numb. I was so scared that we all were exposed to that gas and what the aftermath of it would be. Then I was drilling Junior and the hazmat girl with questions about it, and although both of them assured me that it was okay and we weren't exposed to anything, I still didn't believe them."

Steve saw the horror in his partner's face. He reached across the table to touch Danny's hand and said, "Danny, with what happened to you lately, this is nothing unusual. Remember when you guys saved my sorry ass in Afghanistan? I had nightmares for months. And still now and then I wake up drenched in sweat, feeling the blade on my throat. And that was a while ago, buddy. Your scar is barely healed. And all we have is the name of this guy. We still haven´t found out what his agenda was."

"I know," Danny muttered. "It causes me sleepless nights too. So far nothing rings a bell, though I'm trying hard to remember." Steve patted his hand. "I promise we´ll find out what's behind all this."

They sat in silence until the takeout was delivered. Both dug into their food like there was no tomorrow, and drank another bottle of beer each. Their conversation was not case-related. That was a silent agreement between the two friends. Sometimes, you just have to zone out. Put the nasty stuff behind you and try to catch a glimpse of normality that you can focus and build on. And even with both of them remaining quiet for most of their late night dinner, everything felt okay. Some conversations don't need words. Not anymore.

Soon, empty takeout boxes cluttered the table, and Danny made himself comfy in the chair and checked his phone. No missed calls, nothing. Finally, he was at peace with his surroundings. The great food and the beers helped to take off the edge that had come with this particular case. Danny's skin stopped crawling, and he was able to relax while his eyes grew heavy and his head angled to one side and began a slow descent.

Steve just sat there watching, with his heart overflowing with gratitude and tenderness; gratitude for still having Danny in his life. Tears stung in his eyes when he thought back to the day when that bastard entered the quarantine and pulled the trigger.

_Steve had felt helpless and useless at the same time. For a split second, the world had stopped turning. It had felt like someone had torn his heart out and shredded it into pieces. Danny's low moan jerked him back into the sterile room, and he went into autopilot mode. But it was almost impossible to shut down his emotions because the more time passed by, the more he felt Danny slipping away. After he and Junior had put Danny on the steel table, he'd felt Danny's hand on his wrist all of a sudden. The touch was tender but reassuring, and Steve heard Danny's voice in his head, "I trust you, babe. I know you're going to save my life."_

This burden weighed hard on him. Yeah, he had told Danny about the nightmares he had when he'd been captured by the Taliban. But he wasn't sure if he would ever tell Danny about the nightmares this incident was still causing him. Or about the nights Steve woke up screaming because, in the horror version of his dreams, his partner died. He had always known that there was a special invisible bond between the two of them. What Steve felt for Danny went deeper than the ink beneath the skin of his tattoos.

Of course, risking their lives was their job, their daily bread. But Danny getting shot while they were in quarantine had hit close to home, too close. He was thankful that his friend was still asleep, so he couldn't see the tears that were rolling down his cheeks. Steve wiped them with the back of his hand and grimaced. This was one of those days where he felt every bone he'd ever broken, every muscle he'd ever torn or worse, every bullet that had entered his body on different occasions and had shredded his intestines. It was time to call it a night, so Steve dragged himself to his feet and went over to Danny.

It was like the smaller man had a sixth sense because he stirred and mumbled, "You aren't watching me in my sleep, are you? Because if you do, it would be creepy and I would've to call the anti-creepy unit."

Steve chuckled. "I'd suggest you're staying the night. Don't want you to fall asleep behind the steering wheel."

"Wouldn't happen, you're the only one who is driving my car most of the time," Danny replied drowsily.

Steve stretched out his hand. "Come on, hotshot. Tonight, I'm going nowhere, only upstairs into my bedroom." Danny took his friend's hand. He followed Steve with half-closed eyes. To open them completely was way too much effort for Danny. He let Steve drag him along upstairs. A big yawn split Danny's jaw as he dropped his pants, together with the rest of his clothes, next to Steve's bed. The smell of his shirt yelled at him that he needed a shower ASAP.

"Knock yourself out," Steve said when Danny told him about it. "I can wait."

The blond more stumbled into the bathroom than walked, and Steve was afraid that Danny would fall asleep under the shower. Which was impossible, but who knows? When Danny was done showering, Steve took his place.

Twenty minutes later, he returned to the bedroom. Danny seemed to be fast asleep. Carefully so as not to wake him, Steve slipped under the covers on his side. The blinds were closed, and he could only make out the outline of Danny's body. He was lying unmoving on his side facing away from Steve. For a long moment, Steve listened to Danny's breathing. With a slowness that cost him, he inched closer until he felt the warmth of Danny's body against his skin. He let the smile in his mind curve his lips as he leaned in to gently brush a kiss over his partner's cheek.

Still asleep, Danny smiled, then snuggled closer. Steve's arm wrapped around his waist and pulled Danny against his well-trained body. The blonde thought of pulling away, but the warmth of Steve's body penetrated through him, lured him to stay. Steve curled into Danny and nuzzled his neck. The latest events took their toll, and the boyz were asleep in a matter of minutes.

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for having me and taking your time to read.


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